Set the Expectation of Positivity and Politeness

St. George Village Botanical Garden

One reason I moved from the mainland to a tropical island was to adopt a new lifestyle in a different environment. I was tired of trying to be nice to people, only to encounter negativity and rudeness in return. It was dragging me down; I needed more positivity in my life.

I had assumed the lack of enthusiasm was a product of the big city environment I was in. I’d make a point to make eye contact with strangers and smile or say hello. People who responded or smiled seemed surprised but happy to be acknowledged. Others quickly darted their gaze away from me and continued about their business. I thought a laid-back environment would result in friendlier people.

On St. Croix, it is rude not to acknowledge others. When entering a room -- the post office, BMV, bank, etc. – we announce “Good Morning/ Afternoon/ Day” to all in line and are respond to in kind. Before proceeding with any sort of business transaction, we stop and greet the cashier. When in a store we make eye contact with others – shoppers and stockers alike – and greet them with a smile and acknowledgement. When walking through town or along the boardwalk we greet those we pass. When ordering at a restaurant, we don’t say “I want” or “I’ll have.” It is “Could I please get.”

One of the biggest adjustments for me was horn honking. Before moving to the island, I had used the horn in my jeep about 5 times (I purchased my jeep in 2004). I’ve been to cities with signs posted stating horn honking is illegal; it has a negative connotation in most areas. Here – horns honk frequently, and it is a good thing! We stop and let people into traffic, and either flash our lights or honk our horns to say, “go ahead” and again to say, “thank you.” Viewing horn honking as a positive action is one of the most refreshing practices I’ve come across.

I always felt like an outsider in Indiana; watching but not a part of local life. Last month I returned to visit family and friends. It was my first time back since immersing myself in island life. On this trip I stayed true to the Crucian way of smiling and acknowledging strangers. As a result, I encountered friendlier people than I had remembered. I used Lyft to get around and had fantastic random conversations; several drivers insisted on getting a hug from me when they dropped me off at my destination. One driver was creepy, but the rest were just full of light and energy.

St. George Village Botanical Garden

I also realized I had more friends there than I had thought. It made me think – the negativity I experienced previously on the mainland wasn’t about the city, it was a response to my own assumptions and expectations about city life. I didn’t like it there, therefore I projected my dissatisfaction onto them.

The point: Find your own path to contentment in life, at which point positivity and politeness will become contagious. Look for it, expect it, and spread it. Personal paradises are everywhere.